Affairs are never planned. They usually happen when two people are in an environment when they spend considerable time together which can occur at the office, during extra-curricular activities, with friends, conferences or outings with friends. Within all of these connections, there is one thing that is very common. Affairs are very discreet.
Elaine, not her real name of course was a middle-aged woman. She had been married to her husband for thirty years. It was a difficult marriage and like most marriages, it was not perfect.
Elaine was a stay-at-home mom that enjoyed raising her three children, all of whom were married with children of their own. Elaine and her husband lived in a modest home in the city. Her husband was on the road frequently for his business. When he was not on the road, they were heavily involved in their church activities.
One day, when Elaine was going through her husband’s drawer, she noticed some unusual transactions on his credit card statements. These transactions seemed to be consistent over time but she was unable to connect the business to any legitimate business while carrying out her own detective work. She had suspicions that her husband was having an affair, but had no proof. Their intimacy was non-existent.
Elaine struggled with the thought of him having an affair and when she asked him outright, he denied it and told her that she was crazy. Elaine was not crazy. When we began our investigation, the entity on the credit card was listed to one of the sleazy massage parlours in the city. So we carried on and discovered that her husband was a regular customer. He visited the parlour in the early morning hours. We do not know what went on behind the closed doors, but we later met with Elaine to report our findings and evidence. She was devastated and felt a tremendous sense of betrayal which is very common. There was more devastating news. When Elaine saw the doctor, she was diagnosed with a sexually transmitted disease. She said she was loyal to her spouse throughout the marriage but it would appear that a mistake in one or more encounters, affected her life forever. She later divorced him.
It is not unusual to experience anger in the healing process. This is quite common. Mistresses or sexual partners are never special people because the relationship is built upon discreet encounters behind doors. It is not a real relationship because real relationships are based on trust and love. Don’t blame yourself but learn to stand on your own feet and consider all the wonderful blessings in your life and you decide what is good for you.