Child Custody Issues/Investigations in Winnipeg. After the Discovery of an Affair.

Child Custody Issues/Investigations

The Discovery of the Affair can be a very emotional time for everyone. You have to decide whether or not you want to remain in the marriage. It is difficult for many spouses because they have lost the ability to trust their partner and they are angry.

I always encourage my clients to consult with a lawyer and truly think about your children during the process because they are listening and observing the situation. Try to solve the problem rationally and separate your emotions and bitterness from the issue. Do not allow your anger that you may have against your ex-spouse to cloud your decision-making or judgment. Focus on making reasonable decisions that are in the best interests of your children. Legal issues of separation, custody, access and parenting are decided by these very basic principles when Judges make their decisions when considering what is in the best interests of your children. Children need both parents and it is very rare today that a Judge will award sole custody to one parent, unless there is significant and reliable evidence that the other parent is not fit.

Our role in these types of family matters is to gather relevant evidence for court purposes, in the event that you have concerns that your ex-spouse may be abusing alcohol, drugs or involved in any illegal activity while your child or children are in his/her care. If he/she was physically or mentally abusive during the marriage, we will investigate their history to establish if this was a pattern in past relationships. However, keep in mind that the evidence of the past is not as significant but may give you some peace of mind, particularly when your spouse blamed you for his/her actions.

We also get involved in family matters when you suspect your spouse is violating a certain provision of an order pronounced by the presiding Judge. For instance, if the Judge has ordered one party to abstain from drinking alcohol 24 hours prior to an access visit and you suspect that your ex is not abiding by this condition, we will conduct a surveillance to ascertain their activities 24 hours prior to the visit. We will also monitor your children during an access visit, if you have serious concerns about the welfare of your children, particularly if the other parent has a new significant person in their life. We are often asked by our clients to investigate the family background of another person, particularly if this person is living with your ex.

I will often hear that the police become involved when one party files a criminal complaint. The other party will claim the complaint was made maliciously and without merit. If one party lays a complaint of abuse to the police and the police have reasonable and probable grounds to lay a charge, they must do so, under the zero-tolerance policy of domestic abuse in Manitoba. We will also carry out an investigation to ascertain the credibility of the allegations and further investigate, if you say the complaint was false. When the level of threshold of evidence is low, the likelihood of false allegations is higher because all it takes is for one person to lay a complaint and police do not have to investigate the motives or the credibility of the person that made the complaint.

If you require an experienced investigation firm, our team of investigators will assist you in gathering the necessary evidence for court.   We are the longest founding investigation firm in Manitoba.   We may be reached at (204) 233-3439 or toll free at 1-877-233-2002.   In the alternative, you may reach us at duncaninvestigations@mts.net.

 

The Discovery of an Affair – The Affair Snare

Affairs are never planned.  They usually happen when two people are in an environment when they spend considerable time together which can occur at the office, during extra-curricular activities, with friends, conferences or outings with friends.    Within all of these connections, there is one thing that is very common.  Affairs are very discreet.

Elaine, not her real name of course was a middle-aged woman.   She had been married to her husband for thirty years.  It was a difficult marriage and like most marriages,  it was not perfect.

Elaine was a stay-at-home mom that enjoyed raising her three children, all of whom were married with children of their own.   Elaine and her husband lived in a modest home in the city.    Her husband was on the road frequently for his business.  When he was not on the road, they were heavily involved in their church activities.

One day, when Elaine was going through her husband’s drawer, she noticed some unusual transactions on his credit card statements.  These transactions seemed to be consistent over time but she was unable to connect the business to any legitimate business while carrying out her own detective work.   She had suspicions that her husband was having an affair, but had no proof.  Their intimacy was non-existent.

Elaine struggled with the thought of him having an affair and when she asked him outright, he denied it and told her that she was crazy.   Elaine was not crazy.  When we began our investigation, the entity on the credit card was listed to one of the sleazy massage parlours in the city.   So we carried on and discovered that her husband was a regular customer.   He visited the parlour in the early morning hours.   We do not know what went on behind the closed doors, but we later met with Elaine to report our findings and evidence.   She was devastated and felt a tremendous sense of betrayal which is very common. There was more devastating news.    When Elaine saw the doctor, she was diagnosed with a sexually transmitted disease.   She said she was loyal to her spouse throughout the marriage but it would appear that a mistake in one or more encounters, affected her life forever.  She later divorced him.

It is not unusual to experience anger in the healing process.   This is quite common.  Mistresses or sexual partners are never special people because the relationship is built upon discreet encounters behind doors.  It is not a real relationship because real relationships are based on trust and love.   Don’t blame yourself but learn to stand on your own feet and consider all the wonderful blessings in your life and you decide what is good for you.